Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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