She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
