everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
