Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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