Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
