Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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