I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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