Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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