My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
