When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
