it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize