She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
