This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize