Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
