I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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