I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
