She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
