Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
They have beer where we have blood.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
