Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
