If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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