We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
