My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
