hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
