i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
