I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
