idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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