Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
