You're my little dorito
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
COCAINE IS GR8
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