So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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