Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
