Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
