She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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