LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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