Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
