I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
