I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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