Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
