Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
