He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
