Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize