and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
