My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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