oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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