Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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