Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
