I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
