Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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