Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
