He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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