Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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