Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
