the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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