Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize