I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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