I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
