and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
