Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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