Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
