She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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