So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
