I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
