It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
