He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
