absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
