Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
