man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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