giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
