Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
whose ass print is on the piano?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
