is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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