4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
