when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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